Flickr's gone wrong

I hate these sort of comments on Flickr, and there are more and more of them. Big, twinkly things that don't include any constructive comments about your photo, just an invitation to join some stupid group that attracts even more of the damn things. This one's like something from a teenage girl's My Space or Bebo page, yet the commenter was (judging from his profile picture) a middle-aged man. Anyhow, he's blocked, and it's deleted.

		anarchos_46 said (18 hours ago): Do you have photos of poppies in your photostream?...PLEASE TAKE PART, adding your beautiful poppy, in the Contest. TNX, my fiend, have a nice day... ___________Roman_____________Admin. www.flickr.com/groups/fiorispontanei/discuss/721576204465... Gruppo FIORI SPONTANEI www.flickr.com/groups/fiorispontanei/

It wasn't even a photo of a poppy - it was posted under a photo of some wild clematis, clematis vitalba.

If you join "The Best Pool" Flickr group, this is what they expect you to post on all your favourite photos.






Nathan's been ranting about Flickr too.

Nasty Nick's incitement to murder

Nick Griffin think that boatloads of illegal immigrants should be sunk. He can't get anyone else in the EU Parliament to form a group with the BNP. Don't think he's going to have much influence in Europe.

The plinth

I like the Angel of the North, and I like the figures on Crosby beach, but the plinth? I don't think it was Antony Gormley's best idea. A succession of people will occupy the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square over 100 days, one an hour, every hour, "to help make a living portrait of the UK..." You can watch via the web stream.

It's had the mickey taken mercilessly on Twitter, and elsewhere...



If it hadn't been Gormley's idea, would anyone have bothered with it? The website says,

They will become an image of themselves, and a representation of the whole of humanity.

What the blazes does that mean? How can you be an "image of yourself"? There's either you, or an "image" of you (photo, drawing, painting, video, film), but not simultaneously. Dearie me, art-speak is such twaddle.

As for representing the whole of humanity; you'd have to have some children, frail old people, maimed, sick, and starving people on the plinth for that.

There's too much scam on the Internet

My latest phishing email made me laugh out loud.

"God-fearing partner"? No, wrong target.

Dearest one,

Greetings, Please with Due respect and humility, I got your contact from the (International web site directory) We know that this is not the normal way to contacts someone because of the too much scam in the internet but we did it because of its confidenciality.

I am Marylene Geyi, the only Daughter of late Mr. Wilfred Geyi. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of (Ivory Coast) before he was poisoned to death by his business associates, my mother died on the 28 November 1998 according to my father he took me and my younger brother so special because we are motherless. Before the death of my father on 29th April 2006 in a private hospital here in Abidjan.

He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has the sum of $5.000.000 (Five Million Dollars) left in a suspense account in a Bank in (Europe), that he used my name as his first Daughter for the next of kin in deposit of the fund. He also explained to us that it was because of this wealth and some huge amount of money his business associates supposed to balance him from the deal they had that he was poinsed, that we should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of our choice where we will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate management) for our future hope.

Please We are honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.
To provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to and also promise us that you will remain honest and serve as the guardian of this funds with the investment since we are too young to handle such project, untill we finishes our education we will now take over. We have every legal evidence to proove about this funds.

Moreover we are willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of this fund into your designate account in your country. As soon as you comfirm the money in your account, you will be sending us a sufficient ammount to get our visa to come over and continue our studies in your contry.

We are waiting to hear from you.

Thank you.

Yours Sincerely,
Betty and Olivie.

"There's too much scam on the Internet"? S/he never wrote a truer word. Clearly confused about his/her identity, as s/he says "I am Marylene Geyi", then signs it "Betty and Olivie". Make up your minds.

Pliny's tall stories

A Twitter contact is busy organising a fete in the village of Dennington, Suffolk. She needed a logo for their publicity material and I offered to do one. The theme this year is 'time'. The village is known for the unusual carvings in the church, one of which is a unique sciapod, or monopod, so my design is a sciapod with the sun passing overhead.

According to Wikipedia,

Monopods (also skiapods, skiapodes, Monocoli) are mythological dwarf-like creatures with a single, large foot extending from one thick leg centred in the middle of their body.

These were first described by Pliny the Elder in Naturalis Historia [published circa AD 77-79]. Pliny describes how travellers have reported their encounters or sights of Monopods, and he records their stories.

It seems that Pliny the Elder wasn't subjected to a quizzing by a first century James Randi, whose sceptical interrogation of the people who reported these sciapod sightings might have deduced that they were:

1. Pulling his leg;
2. Simpletons;
3. Pissed.

Pliny's creatures apparently lay in the desert with their one fat leg over their daft heads to shade them from the sun. The rest of the time, they must have hopped about.

Pull the other one!

With apologies to any amputees who may read this.

Dennington logo (c) M Nelson, Sciapod photo (c) Simon Knott.

Pure vitriol

Joan Smith wrote a piece for the Guardian's 'Comment is Free' on Monday about MPs' expenses:

... in the past few days I have talked to MPs who have been abused in person and by email, who have been spat on in the street and pursued by angry constituents screaming "you piece of scum". Even if they haven't been listed in the Telegraph, they have been accused of being liars, cheats and thieves.

I doubt that she'd have expected the comments it provoked, 816 of them, overwhelmingly pure vitriol. My comment was one of a few that were not full of hate.

A BBC journalist on the radio today spoke of "mob rule", and it really does feel as though there are many who are itching to lynch every member of parliament, then dance in the streets.

Makes you proud to be British - not.

No need to apologise

The weather forecasters seem a nice bunch of people. Inoffensive, eager to please. That's the trouble, really. They're eager to please townies who think we ought to have sunshine all day, every day, with never a hint of rain. So they refer to the prospect of rain with words like "threat", as though it's something we all dread.

The long term forecast is that we're going to have a hot, dry summer, which means that gardeners, growers and farmers will be struggling to keep their crops irrigated. Asparagus growers are already reduced to cutting spears once every other day, since the dry weather has restricted growth.

My garden is heavy clay. A friend has dug three new veg patches for me, but until it rained I couldn't do anything with them. It was like gardening in concrete. Every time a weatherman or woman mentioned a "threat" of rain, I got more and more irritated. So far, all we've had are a few piddling little showers. The water butts haven't filled up, and the ground is still hard.

Where do these sunshine addicts think their fruit and vegetables come from? Well, OK, so some come thousands of miles by air, but the home-grown stuff? And why has the British landscape been so lush and green, until now?

As I write, there are some lovely thick cumulus congestus clouds overhead, full of thousands of gallons of water. They're just teasing. They'll drift off and dump it all somewhere else, maybe over a town, where people with grumble about the rain, while the weatherwoman (or man) on the regional news will tell us that it's a lovely sunny day.

Who did you think I was talking to?

My last rant was directed at journalists from the Telegraph, the Daily Mail, the BBC, and any others who insist on including me/us in the their imaginary collective "public opinion". Yes, I know they were unlikely to read it, and even less likely to take any notice. Nevertheless, I had to rant.

I wasn't aiming at you, dear regular reader. You can take your fingers out of your ears now.

To whom it may concern

When Diana died, they kept on about how "we" were mourning her. "We" were inconsolable, apparently.

When the banks started running out of money, "we" were all skint.

When the Mexicans got swine flu, "we" were very alarmed.

When the Telegraph outed the greedy MPs, the "public" was angry. "We" were baying for blood. "We" said we wouldn't vote, at all, ever.

Whenever there's a crisis, or seems to be a crisis, they refer to "public opinion" on the TV news; "we" again.

Who do I have to write to, to resign from being part of "we"? I do not wish to be included in a "public", its opinions generally based upon what it's read in the Daily Mail or some such purveyor of sensationalism. If I want to harrumph, I'll do my harrumphing in my own way, about things that annoy me, thank you very much. One of those things is being included in anything without my permission, apart from the human race (I will agree to that). I quit. I'm not part of any "we". I have a mind and I can make it up myself, thank you. If I get things wrong, that's my problem.

Leave me alone. Sod off.