Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Grumpy old Goddess

If there was a god, and if she was any use at all, she'd get her act in gear and consider the following:
Smite all the despots, tyrants, bullies, and anyone who's really annoying, like Piers Morgan.

Control humankind's fertility, as the super-breeders clearly can't do it themselves. Place similar restrictions on the fertility of dogs, cats, domestic livestock, and those annoying little thrips that drive you mad before harvest-time.

Introduce a few predators and acts of goddess to cut down the numbers substantially, only with minimum pain and suffering.

Make all the homophobes homosexual - it's possible that many already are, but in denial.

Punish any misogynist, patriarchal women-botherers by instantly tying their penises in a very painful knot whenever they have any misogynist, patriarchal women-botherering thoughts, until they stop.

Instantly correct the malfunctioning thought processes of any women who utter the words, "I'm not a feminist, but..." to preface some half-baked whinge or other. There is no "but"!

Make money vanish, so that humanity adopts the Star Trek system ("Money doesn't exist in the 24th century." - Picard), which is like the old socialist system of "from each according to his/her means to each according to his/her needs", but with everyone playing a useful role in society that won't involve things like producing moronic Saturday night television.

Make it impossible for news outlets to tell an untruth.
Humanity really isn't as bright as it thinks it is.

4 comments:

Sparroweye said...

Love that blog post.

Margaret said...

Thanks!

cinderkeys said...

Make money vanish, so that humanity adopts the Star Trek system ...

If the deity is going to do that, she'll need to take one other request:

Give us robots to do the tedious jobs that no one wants to do -- and never would do, except for the need of money.

Margaret said...

Or just magic them done?